Texts from last night!

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

All I'm saying is people text people some weird ass stuff, so the fact that there's a web site now for this is the greatest thing ever!

My favorites for today:

(619): he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?


(603): i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
(508): yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night


(212): mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.


(917): I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
(518): Huh?
(917): I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.